Simon Says (Guardians of the Dark Book 1) Read online

  Again Matt watched her, an uncertain expression on his face. They had been friends too long for Simon not to realize Matt was intrigued by her.

  “I’d like a verbal report on his condition this evening, Doctor. Call my office and speak to no one except me. Understood?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And Simon, I want you to stay here as long as necessary. I’ll have Johnson bring over your kit before dark, just in case. In the meantime, get some rest.”

  “Sure thing, Matt.” They’d been friends too long for Simon to be awed by Matt’s rank. If Simon had stayed in the service, no doubt they would be equals at this point, having come up together through the ranks.

  The commander left without further ado and Simon was left with Mariana once more.

  “Want to tell me what that was all about?” A raised eyebrow dared him.

  “Honey, you know I can’t.” The easy smile on her face said she was just teasing him and the idea that she would deal so easily when confronted by the very real secrecy he had to live with was surprising. He wouldn’t have thought she’d take it so well.

  “Fair enough. How are you feeling? Still light-headed?”

  “I never said I was light-headed.”

  “You didn’t have to say it, Simon. You were pale as a sheet when you wobbled onto that table. If you can walk, I have a more comfortable berth for you in back. You can catch some sleep and I’ll check on you during the day to be sure you’re bouncing back the way I expect. Sound good?”

  “I’ve slept on some pretty hard ground over the years. Still, I wouldn’t turn down a soft mattress if one is available.” He levered himself upward with her assistance. He was still a touch dizzy, but he wouldn’t let that stop him. She held his arm and his other hand went to the rolling IV pole as she guided him down the short corridor to a back room.

  “We use this cot when we need to work late or do double shifts when there are large numbers of men in the field. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s there if we need it and right now, I think you need it most. Nobody will disturb you back here. The head is just down the hall. You should probably wait for one of us to assist you before you decide to walk any distances. Just in case.”

  “You’ll have to tell your nurses not to discuss my presence. My mission is top secret, Mari.”

  He stopped just inside the door to gaze down at her. She was a head shorter than him but somehow they’d always managed to fit together like matching jigsaw pieces. When they’d made love, the experience had been transformational. Transcendent, even. Like nothing he had ever experienced before, and probably would never experience again.

  “I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry. Margaret and Nancy are trustworthy. These days, medical professionals are held to a very high standard of patient privacy. Your treatment falls under that category.”

  He nodded, unable to look away from her beautiful face. The moment stretched. He had one hand on the IV pole and his uninjured arm resting on her shoulder. It took very little effort to pull her unresisting body closer, until they were only a breath apart.

  God, how he’d missed the feel of her, the touch and scent of her. He needed…just one taste. That’s all. One taste to hold against the future without her. Simon dipped his head, her lips so close to his own.

  And then, he kissed her. He did the thing he had promised himself he would never do again. He kissed her, getting lost in the magic of her, her soft sighs, her delicate flavor, her luscious curves that fit so tightly against him.

  For a split second, time stopped. She was in his arms and all was right with his world—for just a moment out of time. Then reality came crashing back as voices came down the hall. More staff arriving for their shift made a racket as they sought their desks, just beyond the wall that separated this back room from the rest of the small infirmary.

  Mariana drew back, out of his arms, and he had to let her go. He hated to do it, but he knew damned well he had overstepped. The condemnation he feared he would see on her face would undo him. Instead of anger, he read the same startled deer-in-the-headlight response he was feeling. She would get mad later, he supposed, but for now, she was just as affected by their kiss as he was.

  They’d never lacked chemistry. They’d had that going for them, at least. Still, there was too much else wrong with the relationship—with him—for there to be any possibility of a future together. Simon knew he would die a single man. No way would he subject any woman to the uncertainty that loomed in his future.

  Mariana backed away from Simon, shocked nearly senseless by his kiss. It had always been that way with him. Explosive, almost mindless passion that sent her to the moon and back with nearly instantaneous motion. God, that man could kiss. And make love. She had dreamed about his lovemaking in the years since they’d parted.

  He’d hurt her by leaving without a word and she didn’t know if she could ever forgive him. By his actions and words, she didn’t even know if he wanted to be forgiven. She didn’t know what that kiss had been all about. Had it been just an impulse? Or had it been some deeper overture?

  Did he want to get back together? Or did he merely want to tease her again, work her up into a frenzy of need, want, and desire, only to leave her without a backward glance again?

  The bastard.

  He had disappeared once. He would do it again in a heartbeat. She knew that like she knew the back of her hand. He had been a Spec Ops soldier, and was now a civilian contractor, which was a polite term for a soldier of fortune. A good, old-fashioned mercenary. Likely he was even worse now about commitment than he had been when he’d still been officially employed by Uncle Sam.

  She needed to be wary. And she needed to stay away from him. No more kisses. No more tantalizing glimpses into what could have been…if only he’d returned to her.

  This wasn’t a return. It was a matter of coincidence that he needed medical help and she was the nearest doctor. If not for his injury, she suspected he never would have revealed his presence. He had probably done all he could to avoid running into her.

  “How long have you been here at Quantico, Simon?”

  He stepped back farther, in clear retreat. “About four months.”

  She should have known. Mariana just looked at him for a long moment, shaking her head as she mentally called herself all kinds of fool.

  “Well.” She had to get out of this room and he needed to lay down before he fell down. She took charge of his rolling IV stand and ushered him toward the bed. It wasn’t grand. More of a cot, really. But it would do. She helped him arrange the arm with the IV in it, and waited until he found a comfortable position, tucking a sheet over his legs and up to his waist. He could tug it higher if he was cold. The infirmary was usually a little warmer than most of the other offices on base. “I’ll check on you every half hour until I’m sure you’re out of the woods. Try to sleep. If you need anything, just call. My office is next door. I’ll hear you.”

  He grabbed her hand before she could bolt for the door.

  “I won’t apologize for kissing you, Mari. I will admit I was wrong to do it, though. I won’t touch you again. Okay?”

  He seemed to be seeking absolution. It was the least she could do for him so he would rest easy. And if he kept his word and didn’t throw her into a tizzy again, it’d be worth it. He was too dangerous to her peace of mind.

  “Okay. Get some rest, Si. I’ll be back in a bit to see how you’re doing.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Simon’s eyes snapped open the moment she walked into the room about twenty-five minutes later. He had always been a light sleeper, Mari remembered. She’d heard that Spec Ops guys trained for that sort of thing.

  “Feeling any better?” She kept her voice deliberately low, in deference to his awakening senses. She also didn’t want any of the other clinic workers to realize he was back here, per the commander’s orders.

  “Much better, thanks. You don’t need to check on me. All I need now is sleep and I’ll be fine.”


  She gave him a teasing smile as she advanced into the room. “Oh. I guess I thought I was the doctor here. Just let me take a quick set of vitals, check my needlework, and then I’ll leave you to sleep.”

  She reached for the edge of his bandages, but he caught her wrist in a firm grip, shocking her gaze upward to meet his.

  “I’m fine, Mari. Seriously.”

  “Well, seriously, Si. I need to check your condition. By rights, I should’ve sent you to the hospital for observation at the very least.” He stared her down, apparently unwilling to let go of her hand. She recognized a brick wall when she met one. Mariana sighed and relaxed her stance. “Come on, Simon. You know you can trust me. What’s up with you? Why won’t you let me take care of you?”

  “You already did, Mari.” His whispered words reach right into her heart. “And I do trust you. It’s why I came here last night instead of heading for the base hospital. I knew you’d patch me up and not ask too many questions.”

  “Oh, so that’s your angle.” She gave him a cunning smile as she perched on the side of his cot. “Buttering me up won’t make me drop the subject. I will check your stitches and I will read your vitals. I’m the doctor here, Simon, lest you forget. You came to me for help. I’m not going to leave my job half done.” He still hadn’t let go of her wrist, making for close quarters as she sat next to him. “And it should go without saying that doctor-patient privilege holds. I won’t discuss anything private about your condition or treatment with anyone. The only one I’m authorized to discuss your fitness with is your CO and I’ve already promised to call him later with an update. If you trust me enough to treat you, you should trust my discretion as well.”

  Simon seemed to think about it for a long moment, then finally let go of her wrist and lay back, flat on the small bed. The cot was barely large enough to hold his muscular frame, but she recognized the signs of intense fatigue. A person could sleep just about anywhere when they were as tired as he was. She had seen it before in troops undergoing combat training.

  Simon’s circumstances puzzled her. He seemed to be working alone and was no longer an official member of the military. A lone former Special Forces soldier, working clandestinely on one of the nation’s most high-profile military bases, showing all the signs of having been living in the field and working hard on whatever mission he’d been given. It didn’t make a lot of sense.

  Even more troubling was Commander Sykes’s unusual interest and the prohibitions he had given her against speaking about Simon’s presence or condition. Something was definitely up, but it looked like she was the only one, aside from the commander and Simon, who had any idea that something was going on. What it was, she had no clue.

  When Simon didn’t make any further objections, she reached over and flicked on the bedside light so she could see him better. A few of the minor cuts had been left uncovered and they looked remarkably good. In fact, as she took a closer look, most of them seemed completely healed.

  Impossible.

  She adjusted the light closer and looked again. The minor scratches were gone.

  Mariana felt chills run down her spine as she reached for the bandages that covered the worst of his wounds. She felt Simon’s attention focus on her as she lifted the edge of the largest gauze pad. The stitches were still there, but the gaping gash beneath was now only a thin red line.

  Mariana sat back, pulling the bandages completely off.

  “What’s going on here, Simon?”

  “Mari, I…” He grimaced as if not sure what to say. He took his time deciding how to explain what she was looking at. “I was changed.”

  Her gaze shot to his, searching for meaning in his vague words. “Changed how? Did you volunteer for some kind of experiment? I’ve heard rumors about accelerated healing projects, but I’ve never seen anything like this.”

  “I didn’t volunteer. I was affected by an injury on a mission. I nearly died. It was a close thing for a while, from what they told me later. I pulled through and this is one of the side effects. I heal really fast now.”

  “When?” Facts were spinning and colliding in her mind. “When did this happen to you?”

  “On the mission right after I left you. I was sick for a long time and when I was finally well again, I…I thought you’d be better off without dealing with something like this. There’s still a lot of uncertainty surrounding my condition.”

  “Oh, God, Simon.” She was devastated by his words. He had left her without a backward glance—or so she’d thought. Now perhaps, she understood why he’d never said goodbye.

  “You can’t talk about this, Mari.”

  There he went with the secrecy thing again. Sometimes she really hated the fact that he was a covert operator. The compartmentalization in his life was maddening.

  She had to think. She had to regroup. She had to check his vitals and reassure herself that he truly was in as good condition as he seemed. She wouldn’t let him leave later today if there was any danger of internal bleeding or complications from the blood loss he’s sustained earlier. He looked really good on the surface, but she needed hard facts and numbers to be sure he was as healthy on the inside as he looked on the outside.

  “All right.” She rested her palms on her thighs and took stock, breathing deeply to regain some measure of sanity. “Let me take your vitals and then I’ll get out of your way so you can get more sleep. You were beat when you showed up on my doorstep and I’ll be damned if I let you go until you’ve caught up at least a little on your beauty rest.”

  He smiled at that. Just a small smile. It touched her deeply nonetheless. Simon’s rare smiles had always had that effect on her, which was why she had tried so hard to earn them.

  She reached for the blood pressure cuff and thermometer she had brought in with her and proceeded to take his readings. She occupied herself for the next few minutes with routine chores that told her what she needed to know about his inner condition.

  “I hardly believe it. Your numbers are good, Si. Almost too good.” She watched him with near disbelief as he bunched a pillow behind him and sat up to face her.

  “I told you it would be okay. Please don’t freak out on me, Mari.”

  “If I haven’t freaked out yet, I’m not going to, but I won’t lie to you. This is just plain weird. Have you had any other complications from that injury?”

  He closed up. “I can’t talk about it. I shouldn’t have told you this much.”

  Damn, she kept running up against that wall of secrecy. Ultimately, she realized only now, the clandestine nature of his work and experiences had been a major challenge in their relationship. She cursed it. Yet in the same moment she knew that without his commitment to duty he wouldn’t have been the same man she had grown to love. He was an elite soldier who lived by a sacred code of honor that she respected as much as she respected him.

  And she still admired his commitment, honor, loyalty, and service, even though it had come between them. Knowing what she knew now—along with everything she suspected about his condition that he couldn’t come out and tell her—her heart thawed. He had left her to spare her. Or what he perceived as being for her own good. He had always put her welfare first. It was maddening at times, as well as being incredibly sweet.

  “So I guess my next question is, do you want me to take out the stitches now so you can sleep easier, or wait and do it tonight? Fair warning, it’ll be easier now, while the wounds are still healing. I’m afraid if we wait it might hurt more.”

  “Then now it is.” Simon gave her another tiny lift of one corner of his mouth. The man didn’t fear pain, but he also wasn’t stupid. The mixture of cunning and bravery had drawn her to him from the beginning and it was no less potent now.

  “I’ll just get a few things and be right back. Do you want me to bring back anything? Maybe some juice or water?”

  “Juice would be good.”

  Or, maybe a seven-course meal with her luscious body for dessert. Simon kept that th
ought carefully to himself. Being around Mariana again was playing havoc with his control. He’d thought he could handle it, but he’d been wrong. Mari was his Achilles’ heel. She got to him like no other woman ever had, or likely ever would.

  He’d just shared one of his deepest secrets with her and she had barely blinked an eye. In all the scenarios he’d run in his mind, he never would’ve expected her relatively calm acceptance of the freak he’d become. She was made of even stronger stuff than he had thought.

  She returned a few minutes later. She had a big bottle of orange juice in one hand and a small pan full of instruments, gauze, and what looked like small bottles of liquid in the other. He guessed the medicine bottles probably contained a topical anesthetic of some kind and maybe a disinfectant. Mari was a thorough and careful physician with a truly healing touch. He had always admired her skill and way with people.

  She handed him the juice wordlessly, then adjusted the bedside light before sitting once more on the edge of his temporary berth. There wasn’t much room on the small cot, so her thigh and hip pressed against his side.

  He longed to stroke her skin with no barriers of cloth between them, but knew it was impossible. He’d made his choice when he’d left her. There would be no second chances for them. Not after what had happened to him.

  Still the heat of her body pressing against his, even in this innocent way, brought back memories and longings best forgotten. How she had moved under him. How she had cried out when he made her come. How beautiful she always was when they made love and after, with her dark hair spread out over his pillow.

  She was the most feminine, graceful woman he had ever known. Yet he knew her as a capable officer, brilliant doctor, and cunning opponent whenever they battled wits. Her tastes in music and films ran parallel to his, though she did tend to like the odd chick flick. Still, she didn’t object to his penchant for horror movies too strenuously, so they’d rubbed along well together.

  Then his life had actually become a horror movie and he knew he couldn’t subject her to any of it. He would die before he saw her in danger. Especially danger he brought to her doorstep because of his work. No, she was better off without him in her life. Nothing would convince him otherwise, no matter how badly he wanted to take her in his arms and wish the world away.