Simon Says (Guardians of the Dark Book 1) Read online

  “You’re injured.”

  He nodded, still apparently a man of few words. “I wouldn’t have come here otherwise.”

  Now that hurt. She tried not to flinch, but Simon had always been a little too perceptive.

  “I didn’t mean it that way, Mari. I figured it would be better for you if you didn’t know I was here, on base.”

  She ushered him into a curtained treatment area and watched as he sat unsteadily on the paper-draped table. She didn’t like the pale look of his tanned skin.

  “What happened to you?”

  “Field exercise. Training accident.” His clipped words told her there was a lot more to the story than met the eye. His tone told her not to pry.

  She’d known going into their relationship that he was a Special Operations guy. What he’d been doing in the years since she had last seen him was a mystery. Simon Blackwell lived much of his life on a need-to-know basis. It had been hard to deal with while they’d been dating, but she had always understood duty and honor. She had even admired him for his devotion to both.

  Mariana stepped closer and started examining his injuries. There were multiple gashes running along one side of his body and some of them looked deep. A few would probably require stitches.

  “Well, your field exercise seems to have put you in the path of…are these claw marks?”

  “Ran into a badger. Got scratched up.”

  “Ah, I see. A badger…with what looks like a serrated edged weapon in addition to some very nasty claws.”

  She gasped as he grabbed her hand, stilling her motions. “Don’t push, Mari.” His tone was both familiar and forbidding.

  Silence passed between them as she regarded him. He had always had an intensity about him that made her want to swoon. A badass vibe that turned her on like nothing else. He had locked eyes with her a couple of times while they were making love and she’d thought she’d seen her future in his bottomless blue gaze.

  She’d been wrong.

  “All right. I won’t ask any more questions. Other than medical questions, of course. You’re up to date on your tetanus, right?”

  He nodded, letting go of her hand and she relaxed fractionally.

  She took a closer look at his wounds. The slashes and claw marks extended over his biceps and onto his chest. The shirt had to go.

  He wore a dark green camouflage Battle Dress Uniform shirt. They were called BDUs for short, and the shirt was more properly called a blouse, but that had always sounded a little too feminine to Mariana. It buttoned up the front, which would make it easy to get off him.

  With deft movements, she began unbuttoning the heavy-weight cotton shirt. She was surprised when he stilled her hands as she worked her way down his muscled abdomen.

  “I’ll get the rest.”

  She nodded tightly and turned to locate the scissors. They were on the instrument tray kept ready in every treatment area. Simon’s olive drab undershirt would have to be cut off him. It was torn and tattered already, as was the heavier cotton of the BDU shirt. The undershirt would be easy to cut through to clean and dress his wounds, while the BDU top would be too much for her little scissors.

  Turning back to him, scissors in hand, she got her first good look at his physique, clad only in the form-fitting undershirt. It had been three years since she had last seen him. Damn, the man still had the power to push the breath from her lungs. He followed her movements with a guarded expression as she drew closer. She tried desperately not to betray the unwanted attraction that still flowed through her body for him.

  Simon had always been a bad boy she should have known to stay away from in the first place. Unfortunately for her heart, he was also too compelling to resist. He had never been overly talkative. Of course, when they’d been together, the furthest thing from her mind had been conversation. Theirs had been an explosive passion. Even memories of their time together were enough to get her hot and bothered.

  So she tried her best not to think about him. It worked, more now than it had in the beginning. It had gotten so that now she could go whole days without something triggering a memory of their short time as a couple. She’d given her heart to the man, though she’d never said it to him in so many words. She’d been afraid of scaring him off.

  Simon had always been the strong, silent type. A man of few words, he was all about action. He had just about ruined her for other men, though he’d never done anything to deliberately hurt her. Except leave and not come back.

  She kept reminding herself that they’d made no promises to each other. Mariana had been rudely awakened when he didn’t return. She realized then that any emotional attachments in their relationship had been totally on her side. Simon hadn’t led her on. She didn’t blame him for toying with her affections. She had done the hatchet job on her own heart.

  And now, here he was, bleeding and in need of help in her clinic. He still didn’t talk much, and she could see a new wariness that hadn’t been there before. Those pretty blue eyes were truly the mirrors of his soul. He didn’t betray much in his expression, but she had often thought she could tell what was going on in his active brain by watching the subtle nuances in his stunning baby blues.

  Maybe that was self-delusion as well.

  She shrugged off the thoughts of what had been and what could have been. He held his BDU shirt in one hand. She took it from him and tossed it onto the counter.

  “That shirt is ruined.”

  “I have a few things in the top pockets I’d like to get before we chuck it in the trash.”

  She turned back to him, armed with her small scissors. “I’ll leave it here for now. Let’s get you fixed up and then we’ll deal with everything else.”

  “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

  She went to work on his undershirt, cutting it away a little at a time. The gashes on his arm and chest were deeper than she had originally thought and they got worse the more they were revealed.

  “How long ago did this happen?” She was all business now. He had to be in serious pain, but nothing showed on his face.

  “About oh-four-hundred.”

  “And you walked all the way in?” She consulted the clock on the wall. “It took you three hours to get here?” Damn, the man had a will of iron. Any normal guy would have collapsed by now.

  “About that.” He shrugged his uninjured shoulder as if walking three hours through rough terrain while seriously wounded and dripping blood was no big deal. Perhaps to him, it wasn’t. The thought was chilling.

  “All right. I’m going to start an IV to replace some of your fluids.” She reached for a blood pressure cuff and wrapped it efficiently around his uninjured arm. The slashes and scratches were on his left side, leaving his right arm relatively unscathed. She knew he was right handed, so at least he would have the use of his dominant arm as he healed.

  She heard the front door open and the chatter of two of her nurses arriving. Thank goodness. She shouted to get their attention and in short order she had them bustling around Simon. His blood pressure was lower than it should be and she monitored him closely as the IV began to do its work.

  Simon lay back on the padded table at a slight incline, watching Mariana as the three women bustled around him. He was out of it. The blood loss had been worse than he had expected. He was so light-headed at this point, it felt like the small treatment room was spinning around him. Luckily, his own personal guardian angel knew what to do. She would save his miserable hide so he could go on protecting her from afar.

  The situation was truly fucked up. If he’d had a choice he would have stayed far away from Mariana. He was no good for her. A guy with his baggage could only drag her down. He’d glimpsed it during their brief affair. He’d seen the way she looked at him, with forever in her eyes, and he knew he couldn’t be that guy. He couldn’t be the guy who would make her life the fairy tale it was supposed to be.

  No, all his fairy tales ended in death. There was no happily ever after in his world. Never h
ad been. And now there never would be. All chance of changing his luck had been taken away on that last mission. The mission that had changed his life and put Mari forever out of his reach.

  When duty had called him away from her addictive presence, at first he’d had every intention of returning. Then things had happened—changes had been made to his very being—and he knew he would have to stay away from her. Far away. He had kept tabs on her as best he could, though. He hadn’t been able to help himself. And when he’d been tasked with clearing the woods near Quantico, he’d been unable to keep himself from watching her. The woman mesmerized him and made him yearn for things he could no longer have.

  Then he’d suffered a moment of miscalculation last night and here he was, lying on a thinly padded examination table while she fussed over him. She touched him with gentle fingers, even while she probed and cleaned the deepest of his wounds. Her warm breath breezed over his skin as she put a few stitches across the worst of the cuts and his gut clenched in reaction. If those nurses hadn’t been in the room, he didn’t know what he would have done. It was all he could do to control himself when Mariana was this close.

  She smelled as good as he remembered. A little hint of gardenia mixed with her own delicate scent. It was intoxicating.

  But she wasn’t for him. He had to keep reminding himself of that sad fact. He could only screw up her life with the weirdness that had taken over his world. Mariana was better off without the likes of him. Too bad her big brown eyes made him want to forget all his damned good reasons for staying away.

  “Almost done,” she promised as she went to work on the last of the deep gouges on his chest. Her touch was soft and gentle, but being stitched hurt, regardless of the topical anesthetic she had applied. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better.” His head was clearing and he noted the way she glanced at her assistants—particularly the nurse who still had his right arm in the blood pressure cuff.

  The nurse reported some numbers that sounded markedly better than his last reading and deflated the cuff. Simon clenched his fist a few times to dissipate the tingling sensation in his arm. He found himself unable to look away from Mariana. She was still just as beautiful as she had been three long years ago. More beautiful, in fact, with more character in the gentle lines of her face and a slight roundness to her cheeks, and the soft curves of her body made his mouth water. She had filled out in all the right places.

  He knew medical school and residency had taken a lot out of her. She had been just a little too skinny, in his opinion, when they’d been dating. He was glad to see she’d recovered from those early stresses in her life and had the womanly curves to prove it. Just looking at her now brought it all back. The attraction. The want. The need.

  He did his best to suppress any outward display of interest, knowing it probably wouldn’t be welcome. He’d left her. He’d hurt her. There was no doubt in his mind that was the case. She was too soft-hearted not to be hurt by his complete lack of communication.

  He had taken the coward’s way out by not saying goodbye. At the time, it had seemed the best thing to do. He hadn’t been sure he would be strong enough to end it if he had to see her again. She was as addictive as any drug. At least to him. Though she probably hadn’t known it. Simon had been careful to hide his feelings. He hadn’t wanted to lead her on.

  “Who’s your CO, Si?” She surprised him with the gently voiced question about his commanding officer. His thoughts had drifted so far, he almost jumped when her question brought him back to Earth, but his training held him in check.

  “I’m a civilian now, Mari.”

  She looked at him in surprise as she finished with the last of his stitches. “A contractor? Don’t tell me you’re working for those black ops guys in the swamp.”

  He should have known she would jump to the right conclusion. She had a quick mind and a wide knowledge of military and political things one wouldn’t necessarily expect of a medical officer.

  “You know I can’t tell you, Mari. Everything about my presence here is on a need-to-know basis.”

  “Well, right now I need to know who to report your injury to. You must have a CO on base.”

  She was right, but he didn’t really want her any more involved than she already was. “Give me the phone and I’ll report in.”

  She stared at him for a moment, probably deciding whether to argue, then finally turned toward the wall phone, snatching up the handset. She handed it to him and he sent a pointed look at the two nurses, who were busy with various tasks in the small space.

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake,” she grumbled, sending the two ladies on their way, giving them errands to run in other parts of the infirmary. It wasn’t truly private, of course. Still, it was good enough for him to report his location and condition. He wouldn’t get into any incriminating details of his mission while on a public phone line anyway. Mariana turned back to him as the other two women bustled off. “What number?”

  He couldn’t reach the wall mounted keypad from where he sat. He would rather she didn’t know who he called, but there was no other choice. He gave her the commander’s extension number and a raised eyebrow was her only response. She dialed for him, then turned to leave the enclosure, giving him the illusion of privacy.

  Soon after he ended the call, Mari returned, taking the handset and hanging it up for him. He had no doubt she had heard every word of his brief conversation, but no comments on the call were forthcoming. She didn’t speak at all, in fact, as she continued to monitor his vital signs and work on the less severe of his wounds. She had taken care of the most serious first. All that were left were a few shallow scratches and bruises.

  The silent treatment was driving him nuts. He knew he owed her an apology at the very least, for the way he had ended their relationship. He had never been the most eloquent of men and still didn’t know how to make her understand his reasoning, all these years later. A bare bones apology would have to do. It was a good place to start anyway.

  “I’m sorry, Mari.” The words spilled out as she bent near, tending a smaller slash on his upper chest, just below the collar bone. Her startled gaze flew upward to meet his. He had her attention, he only wished he knew what to say to make things right. “I’m sorry for not saying goodbye. I should have made a clean break rather than leave you hanging.”

  “Why did you?” The echoes of remembered pain in her unguarded expression sent a wave of sorrow through his heart. He had hurt her worse than he’d thought.

  Simon sighed. “It wasn’t anything you did, sweetheart. I just…I thought it was best to end things. I guess I hoped you would move on when I didn’t come back.”

  Silence met his statement and he saw anger begin to simmer in her expression. “I waited for you, Simon. When you said you had to go, I thought you’d be back after your mission ended. Remember how I didn’t ask any questions about where you were going or when you’d be back? I knew better than to ask, but then when you didn’t return, I thought maybe you’d taken my silence as lack of interest.”

  Oh, he’d known she was interested. It had nearly killed him to leave her, but he hadn’t seen any other choice at the time. Not after he’d recovered from that last mission. Everything had changed too much by then. He could never go back. Not then and not now.

  “I’m sorry.” It was too little, too late. The apology was all he had to offer and he knew it wasn’t enough.

  She turned away. “Yeah, me, too. Sorry I ever met you.” Her words were pitched low, but he heard them…and felt them, like a knife to his gut.

  He didn’t know what he would have said in reply because at that moment the curtain of his cubicle was swept summarily aside and a Navy commander swept in. Not just any Navy commander, this man was an old friend and the commander he had been tasked to work under on his current mission.

  “Where are your weapons, Si?” Commander Matthew Sykes didn’t pull his punches. He was a man on a mission and all business while danger was a possibility.
And they both knew Simon’s weapons were more than run of the mill, and highly classified. That was precisely why he hadn’t brought them inside the clinic.

  “Stashed in the bushes outside the good doctor’s office window.” Simon nodded toward Mariana, one raised eyebrow making Matt aware of her presence and the need to be circumspect in front of her.

  Matt snapped a look at his aide who had followed close behind, and the young seaman scurried off to secure the top secret darts. The creatures Simon was hunting could only be destroyed by a special, super strong toxin, and it was kept under lock and key except when Simon was in the field.

  “Sorry for the intrusion, Doctor,” Matt spoke to Mariana for the first time, and Simon didn’t like the interest in his old buddy’s expression.

  “No problem, sir.”

  “How is he?” Matt asked Mariana about his status rather than talk to Simon directly, which annoyed him to no end. He had spent too many weeks being talked over by medical personnel to have any patience with it now.

  “He lost a lot of blood and required a few stitches. His prognosis is good. I believe he’ll be good as new in a few days. I’d like him to go to the base hospital for observation. He may still need a transfusion, though he’s responding well.”

  “No hospital,” Simon said quickly. Matt, thankfully, agreed with him.

  “Only if it’s absolutely necessary, Doctor. I’d prefer to keep this quiet. In fact, I’d prefer you didn’t discuss his treatment with anyone else, and make no record of his visit to your clinic, if possible. His position here on base is—”

  “Classified.” Mariana dared to cut off the superior officer, a bored expression on her face. “I understand, sir. Simon and I know each other from his Spec Op days. He told me he’s a civilian now and I can extrapolate from that.”

  Matt’s eyes narrowed. “Then you understand his presence here is on a need-to-know basis.”

  “And I don’t need to know. Got it, sir. I’ll keep him here and observe him myself, then send him on his way if there are no complications.”